Soul Mirror
by Kiera Ryu
Summary: When enough is finally enough will Hitsugaya finally make a move on the woman he has watched for so long? Hitsu x OC.
1. Chapter 1

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Summary - When enough is finally enough will Hitsugaya finally make a move on the woman he has watched for so long? Hitsu x OC.

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Disclaimer - Don't own Bleach or its characters. Wish I did but such is life. I do however own Nagayama Kaori.

Rating - M for Mature, Sexual content in later installments, don't like, don't read. Flames will be used to fuel my pyromania.

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Chapter 1 - New Recruit

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Nagayama Kaori…

Her name seemed to flow through his thoughts like a warm summer breeze. Hitsugaya Toushiro stood stoically on one of the many rooftops overlooking Seireitei, his thoughts sneaking back to the lithe and beautiful new recruit who was now gracing his Squad. Kaori had been sent directly to his Squad after her basic training as a Shinigami, according to the initial reports he had received she was somewhat of a prodigy herself. While she was obviously a bit older than himself, she was still younger than most Shinigami at her stage of combat development. Her abilities with a blade and the accuracy and potency of her Kido attacks were rated at the top of her class. Unfortunately her Zanpakuto's abilities were still somewhat of a mystery. Toushiro found himself; much to his own surprise, looking forward to working

with her first hand to unlock her potential.

His thoughts drifted then to their first meeting. She had come to his office, quiet, yet confident. A slight smile touched his lips as he remembered how she had greeted him properly. "Hitsugaya-Taicho". So few people bothered to address him as a Taicho should be addressed, much to his annoyance. It was his appearance, he knew. _I suppose when you look like a child it can be hard to take a Taicho seriously._ He grimaced at that thought. While he knew that he was a powerful and respected Taicho, it still drove him crazy. Time moved so slow in Seireitei, a few more inches and he might get a bit more respect. He shook his head not wanting to think such sullen thoughts. _Kaori…._ She was short, only an inch or two taller than himself, maybe that is what he found so pleasant about her. Long black hair which she kept pulled back in a loose braid reached down to her toes, falling over her shoulder and snaking along the floor as she had knelt before his desk. After he had acknowledged her she had looked up at him, silvery eyes flashing in the afternoon sunlight, showing him a soul full of determination. She stood then, revealing a slight but powerful frame, perfectly formed and balanced. Her Zanpakuto hung at her side, its tip barely clearing the floor. And then she left him, a slight smile on her lips as she exited the room with a respectful bow.

Hitsugaya found himself smiling again, and was not sure why. _I suppose it's just good to be able to work with someone who seems a bit more serious. _He mused. _Her training was certainly going to be interesting…._

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Author's Note - That's all for now please read and review. Feedback is good!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note - Next Chapter up! Enjoy! Please R&R as usual. You only make me better.

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Chapter 2 - Taichou Mine

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Hitsugaya-Taichou… Nagayama Kaori had seen him before, several times, but always from a distance. There had been days, when she was still in Shinigami training that a few of the Taichou from the 13 Gotei had come to visit the classes. "Scouting for potential", She had been told. There had been plenty of chatter among the recruits as the Taichou had come by. She remembered a few of them. Kuchiki Byakuya, silent and serious Taichou of Squad Ten; Zaraki Kenpachi, fierce and often brutal Taichou of Squad Eleven, then came… Kaori stopped as her eyes fell on him.

"Hitsugaya-Taichou"

"Nani?" She heard herself say, her eyes never leaving the short, impossibly young looking Taichou.

"That's Hitsugaya Toushiro, Taichou of Squad Nine." The recruit to her right told her, pointing to the diminutive Taichou. The recruit's voice dropped to a whisper. "What a joke huh? A kid in charge of a whole Squad."

Kaori shot the recruit a withering glare, silencing him at once. She knew what it was like to be small, to be underestimated. She scowled as she looked back to the passing Taichou. He was short indeed, but so what? His frame was powerful, with lean muscles showing at his forearms and chest. Short spiked hair the color of new fallen snow blew gently in the passing breeze, and his intent turquoise eyes sparkled with intelligence. His gaze swept the crowd of recruits and for a moment settled on Kaori. Her breath caught as she felt the weight of his Reiatsu. It was like a warm yet suffocating blanket had been draped over her and she almost had to struggle to take a breath. Hitsugaya seemed to sense her discomfort and withdrew his gaze, sweeping on to observe the other recruits. Kaori drew a breath then, amazed, and inspired. _If he can become a Taichou among the Shinigami, then surely I too can rise to such power_

Kaori smiled again at that. It had been a few years ago now, that encounter. Now she was out of training, and to her delight she had been assigned to Squad Nine. She had seen Hitsugaya-Taichou this very afternoon. He looked the same as when she had last seen him, but this time, she was stronger. She had knelt before him, greeting him formally, and he had acknowledged her , requesting for her to rise. Kaori lifted her head bringing her silvery eyes to meet his turquoise gaze and again she felt the power of his Reiatsu, only this time she could bear it. It was warm, as before, but no longer unbearably heavy, this time it felt like something tangible that she could wrap herself in for comfort or warmth on a chilly night. She had smiled then, a slight smirk as she gave him a bow and left to go find her new quarters in the Squad Nine barracks. _Yes, _She thought to herself, _I have already become more powerful. Here, under his command, I can only grow stronger._

She smiled up at the night sky, watching the stars winking in and out behind the slowly drifting clouds. _Tomorrow, my real training can begin._

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Author's Note - Little bit of Japanese translation for those who don't know.

Nani - What


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note - Chapter Three is up! Thanks so much for the reviews I have gotten so far, especially thanks for catching flaws that I (Most likely in a state without coffee) myself missed. Enjoy!

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Chapter Three - Again

Nagayama Kaori gritted her teeth in frustration as she slid back, her knuckles white as she gripped the hilt of her Zanpakuto, _Toshi_ firmly, determination coursing through her veins. Her silver eyes flashed as she looked up at her Taichou, or rather, his blade, swiftly descending toward her face. Only using all the Reiastu she could muster was she able to Shunpo and dodge his attack. She stopped then, looking back at him, his blade inches from the ground where she had been only a split second before, his turquoise eyes locked on hers, mirroring her frustration. At that moment she felt shame, and her sword arm drooped near her side, her gaze lowered, settling on the floor.

"Gomenasai, Taichou." She said softly, head bowed. Inside she was raging. _Why can't I do this!! I'm making a fool of myself!_ She heard him 'tsk' and raised her eyes to meet his once more. This time her wore a much gentler expression, one of understanding, his frustration buried beneath guilt that he had made her feel as if she was failing.

"Don't apologize." Hitsugaya stated firmly, raising his hand he pressed his palm to his forehead, rubbing for a moment as if trying to banish a headache. "You are doing well Kaori, believe me; but not all Zanpakuto are easy to figure out." He hated to admit it, but he was tired too, they had been at this for days, weeks even. Hitsugaya used any spare time that he had to spar with Kaori, determined to help her discover her true power. She was strong, so strong, and the determination he saw in her, he had to hide a smirk then. _You are so much like myself, Kaori…_ He thought fondly. _Don't give up!_

With renewed vigor he lifted his blade and assumed a ready stance, his face back in its normal mask of cool determination. Kaori's eyes widened a bit at the glint in her Taichou's eyes before quickly assuming a defensive stance, her own face hardening resolutely, her silvery eyes flashing rebelliously.

"Again!" Hitsugaya-Taichou growled as he charged his subordinate. Their blades clashed, ringing throughout the courtyard as their dance began anew.

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Japanese Translations

Gomenasai - I'm sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note - Updates should be coming swiftly with this story, it's all in my head and I'm trying to get it out before I lose it. Enjoy!!

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Chapter Four - A Little Advice

Hitsugaya Toushiro sat at his desk in the Squad Ten office. Stacks and stacks of paperwork piled up on the surface before him and he had to resist the urge to sigh in frustration. As it was a grimace had formed on his face, causing his brow to tighten into deep furrows. From across the room Matsumoto Rangiku quietly studied her Taichou's unusually stressed out face. He seemed not to notice her scrutiny as he stared at the paperwork, clearly his mind was somewhere else and not on the work before him. With a roll of her eyes and a deep sigh, Matsumoto spoke.

"Taichou?" Her melodic voice rang out in the small room. Hitsugaya's turquoise eyes flashed up to look at her, annoyance plain on his features. Ignoring his scowl with her usual zeal Matsumoto smiled radiantly. "Keep scowling like that Taichou and you are going to end up looking decades older than you really are." She tried to joke. His expression cemented itself even further in place.

"Was there something you needed Matsumoto?" He asked through clenched teeth, eager to end the conversation and get back to… to what? He gritted his teeth harder and closed his eyes. He was doing it again, daydreaming. In his mind he could see their combat, his and Kaori's, their blades clashing, bodies twisting and dodging, sweat and even blood flying as they battled, endlessly it seemed. His hands tightened into fists. They were still no closer to unlocking the mystery of Kaori's Zanpakuto. It was taking its toll on Kaori, he could tell. Hell, it was taking its toll on him. He was beginning to feel like he was failing her, it had been months now, almost a year actually since she had come under his command. They should have made some progress by now.

"Taichou!" Hitsugaya jerked upright in his seat, his eyes focusing on Matsumoto, or rather, her massive cleavage; the woman now stood in front of him, hands on his desk, leaning over him and staring at him as though he had just grown horns. Her face was screwed up into a puzzled look as she sighed and straightened, planting her hands firmly on her hips. "You are hopeless!" She exclaimed.

Hitsugaya felt his annoyance come back full force as he glanced away. "Shut up!" He quipped. "Can't you see I'm trying to think?"

Folding her arms beneath her breasts with a loud 'humph' Matsumoto scrunched her nose up and looked away. "Daydreaming is more like it…. What's with you anyway? Whatever's on your mind you should deal with it instead of just moping around like that."

Hitsugaya sat very still, an expression of surprise on his face. Matsumoto rarely spoke to him like that. With a sigh he grudgingly admitted that normally when she did, she was right. Blowing out a sigh he slumped back in his chair.

"You're right Matsumoto, Sorry for being such an idiot." Rising from his chair he gestured toward the stacks of paperwork on his desk. "Since I'm going to take your advice, would you mind taking care of this paperwork? I've got someone I need to go talk to." Without waiting for an answer he started for the door, leaving a stunned Matsumoto in his wake.

"N-Nani?!" She stuttered. Realizing she just received his revenge for speaking to him like that. Plopping down in his chair she blew out an annoyed sigh and reached for the pen. _I guess that's what I get for trying to help._ She thought as she pouted.

Outside, Hitsugaya headed for the Squad Ten barracks, the light spring breeze blowing across the Seireitei seemed to somehow do wonders for his mood. _Maybe I just need to get out of the office more._ He mused for a moment before his brow furrowed once more, seriousness making its way back into his demeanor. _Later._ He thought, _Right now I've got something to take care of…_

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	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note - More and More to come. Hope you are all enjoying this, it's shaping up better than I expected! Also… anything within the () is Toshi, speaking to Kaori.

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Chapter Five - Trust Me

The breeze was cool, spring was just beginning to touch Seireitei, driving away the bitter cold that had been winter in Soul Society. Nagayama Kaori had taken this opportunity to take a break from her training. She sat, stone still, legs crossed, _ Toshi, _her still silent Zanpakuto lay across her lap, supported only by her knees as she meditated beneath one of the many cherry trees in the courtyard outside of Squad Ten's barracks. In her mind she let the past months unfold slowly before her. Each training session, each movement, each strike of her blade, the attacks, the parries, defenses, counterattacks, everything… everything… She felt her body tensing in frustration and opened her eyes, staring down at _Toshi_ as it lay passively in her lap. Kaori forced a breath from her lungs with a sharp, annoyed sound.

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How? How could I have come so far, just to fail now… She closed her silvery eyes, her brow furrowing in anger. _I worked so hard to get here, I even got the Squad I wanted,. Hitsugaya-Taichou… he's working so hard to help me learn Toshi's abilities and I'm… I'm failing him…_ That thought disturbed her more than anything, more so the 'why' of that thought disturbed her. _Why does it matter so much to me? Am I angry because I haven't gained power? Am I disappointing myself? Or am I… am I afraid to disappoint Taichou? _She gripped _Toshi _firmly, her knuckles growing white as she held tightened her grasp on it's sheath.

Look at me…

Kaori's eyes snapped open in surprise. "Who..?" She looked around, trying to identify the source of the voice she had just heard.

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Tsk… The voice rang out again, annoyed this time. _Has it been so long since we last spoke… Kaori?_

The sheath in her hands seemed to grow warm and Kaori looked down at her Zanpakuto, the sword seemed to pulse as though alive. "To-Toshi?" She spoke the name of her Zanpakuto softly, the word wisping away on the wind.

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Who else? The blade replied, the smooth male voice obviously annoyed, but somehow gentler now. _You wish to use me so badly Kaori, so why are you fighting me? _He questioned.

Kaori blinked in confusion. "Fighting you?" Her face twitched then, her own frustration taking over. "What are you talking about? Do you know how long I've been practicing with you trying to figure out just what the heck you do?! You're my partner, why would I be fighting you?!" She was on her feet now, gripping the sheath so hard it almost made her hands hurt.

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Well whatever you've been doing it hasn't been working now has it?!" Toshi snapped back. _Would you shut up and listen to me? _The annoyed Zanpakuto seemed to quiver in her hands. _Now just… look at me!_

"Look at you…" Kaori stared at the blade for a moment before gripping _Toshi_ by the hilt and slowly drawing him from his sheath. As always, the blade was perfectly clean, shiny and mirror smooth, she gazed into that blade and could see her own puzzled face reflected there… That reflection… It seemed to draw her in.

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Good…Now, use that reflection…. Toshi instructed quietly.

Again confusion threatened to consume Kaori. "Use it..?" She stammered. "How?"

Yoshi scoffed at her. _Do I have to do everything?? Just trust me, next time you fight your Taichou, use me, use my reflection, draw in his attacks, direct them back at him…_

Kaori mentally chastised herself, her expression steeled to one of resolve, her silvery eyes glinting with determination. "Hai, Toshi. I will do as you say. Thank you, for your help, you are my partner, I don't want to let you down…you or my Taichou."

At that Toshi chuckled deeply. _Stick with me Kaori, I'll keep you strong, and safe, I won't fail you, and _we_ won't fail your Taichou… trust me… _With that his voice faded, and the Zanpakuto was silent in her hands once more. Kaori smiled then, and slid Toshi back into his sheath. Their little chat seemed to have given her a resolve that she may have otherwise lost.

Just then a familiar Reiastu caught her attention and she glanced over her shoulder to see Hitsugaya-Taichou standing behind her. His face seemed intent, his turquoise eyes curious as she turned to face him.

"Taichou!" She exclaimed with a grin that caught him off guard, his serious expression fading to one of slight surprise. Kaori ran to stand before him, her eyes more radiant than he ever remembered seeing then, and for just a moment, he forgot why he had come here. Kaori however seemed oblivious to his sudden distraction and began talking excitedly, pointing to her Zanpakuto. "Toshi spoke to me Taichou. It's been so long, I had forgot what he sounded like, he hasn't spoken to me since he first told me his name when I was in Shinigami training."

Hitsugaya snapped out of his momentary lapse, she had his full attention now. "Oh?" His white Taichou robes swirled around him as the breeze picked up slightly, the tips of his snowy white hair dancing in the wind.

Kaori nodded, her long braid sweeping over her shoulder and trailing in the wind like an ebony snake. "I think I can do it now Taichou, I think I can awaken Toshi's abilities." She paused then, remembering all the time they had spent working on accomplishing this very goal, how much time they had wasted so far, how much of his time she had wasted… She glanced down, looking away from his turquoise gaze. "That is, if you are still willing to help me.. Taichou." She raised her eyes then, her eyes locking intently with Hitsugaya's.

Hitsugaya looked at her, her eyes burning with resolve, so silver in that moment that they practically glowed, for a moment he was almost swept away by that gaze again, but the excitement of that moment drew him back to the matter at hand. A slight smile touch his normally stoic expression. "Of course Kaori. I will help you."

She grinned back then, a radiant smile that warmed him all the way to his heart. For the first time in a long long time, Hitsugaya felt a heat that he could not explain and it frightened him.

Kaori flipped away from him then, a playful smile on her lips as she gripped the hilt of her Zanpakuto and settled into a ready stance. "When do we begin?" She asked, an eyebrow raised gracefully over one eye.

Unable to contain a smile at the sight of her, confidant, radiant, challenging him, he drew his own blade and prepared to attack. "Right now!" Hitsugaya charged…

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	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note - Time to grind out some more of this story, please Read and Review, feedback is much appreciated.

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Chapter Six - Power Revealed

Nagayama Kaori drew her Zanpakuto in one smooth motion, meeting Hitsugaya-Taichou's attack confidently. Attack after attack rained down on her blade, which sang in the spring air as blow after blow was parried and blocked. She could do this, she knew she could, Toshi was at her side, her partner fighting with her, they battled as one, so fast and so gracefully that her battle with her Taichou looked more like a dance. She smiled inwardly, feeling the rush of combat, the speed that her blade lent her as they moved together. Hitsugaya-Taichou pushed her hard, testing her limits and in those moments she loved him for that. He would never go easy on her because she was a woman, or because he thought she was delicate, he knew better, he would fight her as he fought an equal, and he expected the same in return. Feeling especially confidant she slashed out at her Taichou an unexpected offensive maneuver that sent him back on his heels momentarily, a small nick in the shoulder of his white Taichou robes.

Hitsugaya fell back a step and glanced over at the torn shoulder of his robe, an snowy eyebrow arching slightly in surprise. Raising his gaze back to Kaori he caught a fleeting glimpse of a cocky smirk gracing her mouth. He narrowed his eyes and decided to try a new tactic. Falling within himself he began to chant softly a kidou spell. Lashing out with his right hand a moment later a searing bolt of lightning raced toward Kaori.

Startled by this tactic Kaori raised her blade, preparing to attempt deflection of the arching missile. The blinding light struck a second later and sizzled along her blade, never making it to her hands as the hungry Zanpakuto seemed to drink the light in, devouring it until the lightning dissipated, leaving only a faint glow along the length of its perfectly mirrored surface. Kaori blinked in surprise, glancing from the now glowing blade to her equally surprised Taichou.

Lowering his own Zanpakuto, Hitsugaya began to take a step forward. "Kaori…?" He started to say.

_Now! _ Toshi called to Kaori, startling her. _Reflect!!_ In that moment realization hit her and she thrust the blade out, its tip pointing directly at Hitsugaya-Taishou. Energy roared through her as she cried out…

"Kikan! Toshi!" With that, the lightning that had moments before been absorbed by her Zanpakuto sizzled outward with a shriek, straight toward Hitsugaya.

Eyes wide in shock, Hitsugaya-Taichou had only a split second to parry the blast, sending the bolt careening into a nearby tree, where it sliced through the bark, neatly cleaving the plant in half. Silence suddenly enveloped the courtyard as Hitsugaya and Kaori stared together at the downed tree. After a moment Kaori turned and faced her Taichou, her eyes meeting his stunned, yet proud gaze. Her heart swelled inside her as she saw that look, registered his pride. _He's proud, of me…. _She thought ecstatically. _We did it! _A broad grin spread across her face as she let out a quick cry of victory.

"We did it Hitsugaya-Taichou!" She exclaimed. Sliding her Zanpakuto quickly back into its sheath she approached Hitsugaya, her eyes bright with joy. As she reached him she dropped to a knee in a grateful bow. "Thank you Taichou, for your patience. I could not have done it without your support." She looked up at him, her eyes shining with admiration and confidence.

For a moment Hitsugaya found himself embarrassed. He broke their gaze and glanced away, surprised to find himself struggling not to blush. "You didn't give up. It was hard but you never gave up, that's why you finally won out." He shrugged, still feeling embarrassed and met her gaze again. "I didn't do much."

Kaori smiled at him as she stood. "You believed in me Taichou, when I thought I might give up on myself. I-I thought I was failing you, but you, never gave up on me." She gave a little shrug of her own. "I can't help but thank you for that."

Hitsugaya felt a slight smile curve onto his lips as he looked at her. She was absolutely gorgeous, raven hair streaming behind her in the wind, barely held in check by the loose braid she kept it in. Delicate features and skin that seemed to be carved from ivory. The way those silver eyes flashed, especially now, alight with her victory… He blinked once in surprise as he suddenly realized the direction his thoughts were flowing in. Swiftly he turned, putting his back to her as he headed for the gate, he could not let her see the blush that was now creeping across his face.

"Taichou..?" Kaori called to him, clearly confused at his sudden departure.

"Gomenasai, Kaori." He called back over his shoulder. "I just remembered something I have to attend to, Congratulations on your victory. We'll talk again soon, I promise." And with that he was gone, shunpo'ed away as fast as he could manage. As he sped along he cursed under his breath, it was so unlike him to run from anything, but there, in her intoxicating presence, under the assault of feelings he had not felt in years, running was the only sure thing he knew how to do. _Later, _he thought, _I'll talk to her later, when I've had some time to think this through… _Yet even as he moved, he felt his heart swelling with a new found pride in his favorite subordinate…


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note - Thanks again for all the reviews! Here's some more, coming at you!

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Chapter Seven - Butterfly Wings

"N-Nani?!" Hitsugaya Toushiro blinked in surprise as he listened to the Hell Butteryfly's message a second time. "Why are they sending her now?"

5 TH SEAT, NAGAYAMA KAORI, OF SQUAD TEN HAS BEEN SELECTED FOR A MISSION TO THE LIVING WORLD. HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED TO A MISSION BREIFING. PLEASE BRING NAGAYAMA AND REPORT IMMEDIATELY.

Hitsugaya clenched his teeth, obviously annoyed. Kaori was strong indeed but, to send her to the Living World now, only days after discovering her Zanpakuto's ability? It was a strange move indeed. One he intended to question. Coming swiftly to his feet he moved for the door, then stopped short, a look of puzzlement sweeping across his face. What was he doing? Since when was he one to question orders sent down from the top command? He shook his head, as though the motion would clear his thinking. Why did this bother him so much? He knew Kaori was fully capable of handling a mission to the Living World, even before she had awoken her Zanpakuto he would have been more than confident in her abilities. So.. why then did this bother him?

In his mind he could see her, so delicate and lithe, but strong and resolute. Her eyes burned with a passion for life, a hunger to grow strong, a fierce spirit and quick wit. There was something about her that seemed to draw out the kind of confidence that could inspire an army. _She will make an exceptional Taichou one day…_ He caught himself thinking with a smile, but even that thought made something inside of him ache. His brow furrowed in thought. Was that it then? Was he afraid to lose her? If she became a Taichou she would have to leave his squad, sure they would still see one another, but their time would be limited. It was the same with this mission, she would have to leave him to go to the Living World. Would she come back…?

Enough! Hitsugaya silenced his inner brooding with a growl. Of course she would come back, she was strong, they had worked hard, he knew that he had trained her well. She would come back and then.. _Then what…? Would things go back to normal?_ He silenced his thoughts once more with a swift shake of his head. _I don't have time for this now. _Moving with purpose now, he headed toward the door once more.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note - More up, please R&R!

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Chapter Eight - Odd Timing

Nagayama Kaori stared at the floor before her in stunned silence. _A mission? Now? _She was thoroughly puzzled. A mission to the Living World was a huge responsibility, and definitely something that she should have been excited about but, for some reason she could not explain, she felt only dread. A twisting, painful feeling in the pit of her stomach that she did not understand. Raising her eyes from the floor she met Hitsugaya-Taichou's turquoise gaze, as if studying them would help her find her answers. Instead she found only more confusion, not only her own, but somehow, his as well. She closed her eyes tightly and sighed.

"When am I to leave, Taichou?" She asked softly, slightly proud of herself that her voice did not waver.

He shook his head with a sigh that matched her own. "The message didn't say exactly, Kaori. We are to attend a briefing as soon as possible. I came for you as I was ordered to bring you personally." There was a seriousness in his gaze that she rarely saw and it both worried and confused her.

She glanced to the side and bit her bottom lip for a moment before speaking. "Excuse me, Taichou, but… isn't this a bit strange? I mean, I know I'm ready for this Mission." Her voice rose slightly, her eyes taking on that familiar sparkle as she expressed her confidence in her abilities. "But, isn't the timing… odd?" Her gaze flickered back to his, hoping she had not spoken out of line, and seeking reassurance there as well.

His brilliant gaze softened slightly and he blew out another sigh, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so. His gaze drifting as he absently studied a painting on the wall. "It does seem odd to me as well." He confirmed, much to her relief. "Perhaps they want to test your new found abilities in a real combat situation. Other than that…" He shrugged slightly as he met her eyes once more. "I can't guess their motives."

Kaori bowed her head slightly in appreciation. "I see." She stood then, tucking her Zanpakuto beneath her sash, taking care to make sure its tip did not drag the ground. "We should go then, I suppose it's best not to keep them waiting." When he did not answer her, she glanced down to see him once again studying that painting, his brow furrowed as he was lost in thought. He looked so… lost. There was a look in his eyes that she could not ever remember seeing before, nor could she identify the emotion that seemed buried deep within those turquoise depths. She gazed down at him, taking in every feature, the intent furrow of his brow, the thoughtful angle of his snowy eyebrows, the slight hint of a frown that touched his lips, the way his impossibly white hair moved in the slight breeze that whispered through the room, the way his chest rose and fell with every breath….

Kaori blinked once, shocked at the direction of her thoughts. _He's my Taichou for crying out loud. _She chastised herself mentally. What was she doing looking at him like that? She looked away for a moment, embarrassed, and fighting the blush that threatened to steal across her face. _Get it together Kaori!_ She snapped at herself. _Of all people, this is hardly the man to be daydreaming about, talk about impossible. _The thought seemed to dishearten her even further. She was already downcast about this mission, and still confused as to why. Clenching her teeth in frustration at her own inability to focus she shook her head and focused once more on her Taichou, still kneeling motionless on the floor before her.

"Hitsugaya-Taichou." She called softly, her voice gently drawing him from his reverie. He glanced up at her, a look of momentary confusion crossing his face before he steeled himself and stood up beside her.

"Let's go, Kaori." He spoke quietly as he moved past her and out the door. "We've kept them waiting long enough."

With a silent nod of acknowledgement, Kaori quickly followed behind him. _I'll be in the Living World soon, _she thought glumly. _Plenty of time to try and figure this all out there…_


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note - Whew… the muse is really flowing today. Please R&R as usual. J

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Chapter Nine - Just Come Back

The moon was just starting to rise over the Seireitei as Hitsugaya Toushiro and Nagayama Kaori made their way from the briefing room to the gate the would allow Kaori access to the Living World. The briefing itself had been long and hardly informative, its contents neither exciting, nor revealing any of the intention behind sending her to the Living World at this time.

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Perhaps Hitsugaya-Taichou was right after all… Kaori mused as she followed her Taichou along toward the gate. _Maybe they do just want to test my abilities in combat, and not just here in training matches and simulations. _She grumbled inwardly as she focused her gaze on her Taichou's back as he walked along in front of her. His flowing white robes revealed very little about the young, yet incredible strong body beneath them, still, she found herself mesmerized by the way he moved, so smoothly did he walk that he almost appeared to float along before her. His Zanpakuto lay across his back, she knew he wore it there because of his height. She knew the feeling, if it was not for the fact that she was a few inches taller than he she would have had to wear hers slung across her back as well, instead of at her side as she was barely able to do. Glancing down at her own Zanpakuto, Toshi, the silver wrapped hilt glinted up at her, as if it were smiling, or at least, trying to comfort her. She appreciated the gesture, but was not sure it would work at this moment.

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Sorry Toshi… She lamented mentally, _I guess I'm not the best of company right now…_

You don't seem excited about this mission. Toshi observed, his voice low and thoughtful. _I wonder why that is._

Kaori frowned slightly and gave a little 'humph'. _Well when you figure it out, please let me in on it. I'm a bit confused myself on this one._

Hitsugaya heard the small sound from behind him, and glanced over his shoulder, his eyes seeking Kaori's in a questioning gaze. She kept walking and bumped into her Taichou, jolting her back to the present. She snatched at his arm for support, the impact and her inattention almost sending her to the ground.

"Oh!" She cried, startled and embarrassed, as she gazed at him, suddenly very aware of the warmth of his skin beneath her hands. Despite her inner battle, a slight blush stole across her features. "Gomenasai, Hitsugaya-Taichou, I…" She sighed and let her hands drop away from his arm. "Toshi was speaking to me again Taichou, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." She bowed her head slightly before him awaiting reprimand.

Hitsugaya watched her standing there beside him, head bowed, and found himself.. disappointed. Not in her, but in the fact that her touch was gone from his arm. In that brief moment when she had collided with him and gripped him for support he felt the warmth of her hands vividly on the skin of his arm, even through the thick Shinigami robes. That touch had been like electricity, shooting straight to the core of his being and warming his chilly interior. Then it was gone, she had quickly removed her hands, embarrassed and ashamed for having let her attention waver. And he did not fail to notice the slight blush that colored her face as she averted her eyes, obviously waiting for him to berate her for lack of attention. Any Taichou would; letting one's self lose focus could mean the difference between life and death for a Shinigami, they all knew that, from the greatest Shinigami all the way down to the least of them. And yet… Somehow he could not bring himself to discipline her. Later, when she came back from her Mission maybe he could drill her or… He sighed then, and addressed her quietly.

"There's no need to apologize… Kaori."

Something about the way he said her name seemed to reach all the way down into the core of her soul. With a nervous swallow she raised her eyes to meet his. Those impossibly turquoise orbs held her gaze without wavering. Though he did not seem angry with her, his face and his eyes betrayed a deep degree of both conflict and control. He looked like a man at war with himself, and that knowledge confused her even more.

He turned slowly to face her fully and, despite his better judgment he lifted both his hands and placed them carefully on her shoulders. "Do me a favor, Kaori." He spoke, his voice low and very quiet, almost a whisper that she had to strain to hear.

Kaori nodded slowly, not trusting her voice in that moment. The warmth of his hands on her seemed far more of a distraction than such a simple gesture should be.

Hitsugaya's eyes seemed to blaze with an emotion that even he could not yet identify as he said his goodbye. "Just come back." And with that, he was gone, Shunpo'ed away before Kaori could even register his movement. The absence of his warm touch on her shoulders seemed to leave her feeling as cold as his Hyorinamaru on a winter's day. She spoke softly, her words lost to the wind.

"Hai, Hitsugaya-Taichou…."

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	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note - Ok this chapter was actually kind of inspired by a song I heard last night lol. Try listening to Hello goodbye's "Here In Your Arms" while reading this. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Ten - Soul Searching**

It was not at all what she had expected, this Living World. The more she thought about it, the more she brooded over the irony that, here in this world, she had never felt more dead inside. What made it worse was the fact that she still could not put her finger on what was making her feel like this. So far the days had passed with a maddening monotony. Her Mission; To protect a small rural town from a recent elevated level of Hollow activity and, at the end of her three month tenure in the Living World to report back to the Seireitei with all of her findings regarding the state of that activity. To date, it had been all too easy. She had dispatched several lower level Hollows, creatures she had been able to defeat easily without having to call upon her Zanpakuto's abilities.

To be honest, and she felt very guilty about wishing this, Kaori pleaded almost daily for some new Hollow to come and challenge her. The hunger for battle seemed to push upon her more and more with each passing day. Within each fight she found a relief, as though the floodgates of her tumultuous emotions were finally able to find release as her blade rained down blow after blow against her enemies. She cringed as she inwardly wondered if they had not made a mistake in placing her in Squad Ten, maybe she would have been better suited for the battle hungry Squad Eleven. That thought too made her feel guilty, Kaori could physically feel her insides twisting as she banished the thought from her mind. _No… they didn't make a mistake. _She bowed her head. _I would never wish for any other Taichou than my own._

Kaori drew in a deep breath then, settling her mind as she attempted to picture her Taichou in her mind. It had only been three weeks so far and his face was still fresh in her mind's eye. She could see him, standing before her, his youthful face stoic with a steely determination, the turquoise depths of his eyes betraying emotions that almost never found their way to his facial expressions. The way his unruly head of snowy-white spiked hair danced whenever a breeze would float by. A smile touched her lips then as she felt her heart swelling with admiration yet, in that same instant, pain like a knife blade slashed through her heart. She uttered a soft cry as she buried her head in her hands. How could a simple memory bring her such pleasure and pain all in the same instant. She did not understand it and a part of her wanted to drive this feeling away. As ecstatic as these emotions made her feel, she had to wonder if the joy was worth the agony that they caused as well.

_Kaori…. _At her side, Toshi, her Zanpakuto, called to her softly. _Why are so despairing?_ Her blade questioned in concern.

She shook her head, face still covered by her hands. "I don't know Toshi.." She spoke aloud, she was in spirit form, and did not care at that moment who might hear her. "I've gained everything that I have gone after so far in my life as a Shinigami. I've worked hard to gain my skills, I have a Taichou that has done everything in his power to help me grow stronger. I am on my first mission to the Living World. I should be happy to be here, they trust me to take this responsibility on my own…" Her voice trailed off and she slowly raised her head, her eyes staring off into the distance as a realization struck home. "On my own…"

_You feel lonely? _Toshi questioned, _No… _The blade at her side vibrated slightly as Toshi chuckled, a deep rich sound that resonated deep within her soul. _You miss your Taichou…_

Kaori glanced down then, staring at her Zanpakuto, a blush slowly creeping its way across her face. "_Is that it then?" _She wondered silently, the question both rhetorical and aimed at Toshi. "_Does my heart ache so because I am without Hitsugaya-Taichou? Does his presence mean so much to me?"_

If Toshi could have laughed aloud, he would have. The Zanpakuto nearly rattled in its sheath as the chuckle became a full throated laugh. "Hey!" Kaori exclaimed in annoyance. "What's so funny?"

_You love him. _Toshi stated as his laughter subsided. _You love your Taichou._

"Nani!?" Kaori nearly screamed the word as she shot to her feet. "N-No! I mean, I can't. I couldn't! He's my Taichou. I couldn't possibly…" Her voice trailed off as she refused to say the words.

_Say it. _Toshi spoke softly. _You know you want to, why deny it?_

"But to….. love…my Taichou…it's, crazy…" She sank to her knees on the rooftop as she realized Toshi was right. She **did **love Hitsugaya Toushiro. She had loved him from the first moment that her eyes at met his, what seemed so long ago when she was still merely a Shinigami Recruit. She had been denying it because it was just so… "Impossible." Kaori whispered sadly.

At this Toshi laughed again. _Nothing is impossible Kaori. You should know that by now. Your Taichou has proven that. Before he came to the Seireitei, who would have ever thought that one so young could become a Taichou among the Gotei 13? _Her Zanpakuto warmed against her hip. _No Kaori, nothing is impossible. Some things are just, harder to attain. And if he feels the same…_

Now it was Kaori's turn to laugh. "Hitsugaya-Taichou? Feel the same way about me?" She laughed again, somewhat bitterly now. "My Taichou is known throughout all of the Seireitei for being made as much from ice as his Hyorinmaru is. That he could possibly feel anything for me is…"

Toshi cut her off sharply. _Think Kaori! Think about what he said when you left to come here. Remember his words, remember.. his eyes._

Kaori closed her eyes tightly, the very scene Toshi spoke of, the scene she had replayed time and time again in her mind since arriving in the Living World springing to the front of her mind.

----------------------------------------------------------_flashback_---------------------------------------------------------------

_Hitsugaya turned slowly to face her fully and, despite his better judgment he lifted both his hands and placed them carefully on her shoulders. "Do me a favor, Kaori." He spoke, his voice low and very quiet, almost a whisper that she had to strain to hear._

_Kaori nodded slowly, not trusting her voice in that moment. The warmth of his hands on her seemed far more of a distraction than such a simple gesture should be._

_Hitsugaya's eyes seemed to blaze with an emotion that even he could not yet identify as he said his goodbye. "Just come back."_

-----------------------------------------------------_flashback end------------------------------------------------------------_

Kaori's hand rose to her mouth as she suppressed a small gasp. "Could it be?" She wondered aloud.

_Why not? _Toshi spoke softly. _Stranger things have happened. _

A slight smile stole its way onto Kaori's lips then and for the first time since coming to the Living World, hope found its way into her heart. Toshi was right, nothing was impossible and maybe, just maybe there was hope in this world or the next, for a Shinigami and her Taichou.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note - Muse is on a roll again today!! Enjoy!! R&R's appreciated, thanks for all the great feedback I've gotten so far.

**Chapter Eleven - A Year Ago Today**

Hitsugaya Toushiro was in a right foul mood today. Shinigami seemed to scatter whenever he approached, something about the dark, brooding expression on the normally expressionless Taichou's face seemed to make everyone steer very, very clear of him. Even his fellow Taichou thought twice about addressing him in greeting whenever he passed by. So entrenched was he in his melancholy that everyone and everything around him just did not even seem worth noticing. Even Matsumoto Rangiku, his normally overly chipper Fukutaichou seemed eager to leave him be.

Slapping a notice on the outside of his office door that read "Please do not disturb unless in case of emergency." he kicked the door shut with unusual vehemence. Hitsugaya stalked over to his chair and sat down wearily, slumping back in the seat and massaging his temples gently. All this scowling was giving him one heck of a migraine. Opening his eyes the first thing he happened to notice was a calendar, hanging on the wall opposite his desk, mocking him. Written in today's date block was a single name, and he did not have to be able to read it from his seat to know whose name it was; _Nagayama Kaori. _

Every time he got a new recruit, he wrote their name down on his calendar on the date that they came to his Squad. He liked to keep track of his people, that way he could track their progress, celebrate their victories, and arrange special training time for those requiring more attention. Yet never before had he felt such…bitterness. Normally the yearly anniversary of a member's arrival to his Squad was something he looked forward to, but today…. He felt only anger. The fact that he could not understand why he was angry only served to make him angrier. He clenched his teeth as he flung a small blast of Kidou at the calendar, incinerating the offending object and leaving a charred smudge on his wall.

He cringed then, ashamed at his unusual outburst of emotion and slumped further in his seat, closing his eyes tightly as he drew in a deep, soothing breath, and attempted to calm himself.

It had been almost two months since Kaori had left for her first mission in the Living World. Two very long months Hitsugaya noted with a mental sigh. He supposed he was still angry and confused over the ill timing of her mission. She had only just discovered her Zanpakuto's abilities when the order had come down to send her away. He had not even had time to properly congratulate her on her success. And now, the anniversary that he so looked forward to recognizing with her, would go unnoticed as the day came and went, with her so very far away from him.

His thoughts drifted then as he wondered what she was doing right then. Was she safe? Had she been in many battles against the Hollows since arriving in the Living World? Anger rose again as he remembered her orders to maintain communication silence with the Seireitei while in the Living World. They expected a full report upon her return but had ordered no updates during her stay. That in and of itself was highly unusual. A sudden jolt of pain tore him from his thoughts and he looked down to see both hands, white knuckled, gripping the arms of his chair. Releasing the chair he dropped his head into his hands with a slight groan. This was getting ridiculous…

_What is wrong with me? _He berated himself mentally. With each day that passed he could feel his agitation growing, he felt like a bow string, draw to its limits and ready to snap. His insides were in turmoil, he had not eaten in days, sleep was nearly impossible. He had not looked in a mirror recently but he was sure that he had vicious dark circles beneath his eyes. _I feel like I'm losing my mind…_ Scrubbing his hands across his face he sat up straight and blew out a long breath. His turquoise gaze swept across the desk full of paper work and an idea struck. Snatching up the pen he tore into the work with a single minded zeal, maybe he could distract himself, get his mind off of…. Her.

That single word completely threw that idea out the window. At the very thought of Kaori his mind was sidetracked. Her image seemed to dance through his weary and troubled mind. Hitsugaya sat frozen in place as his mind retreated inward, dwelling on the image it had called forth to torment him. He could see her, as clearly as if she were standing before him, her petite and graceful form seemingly dancing through her daily Katas with her blade, silvery and flashing as she went through the practice motions. Her impossibly long raven braid trained behind her, lifted on the breeze and waving like the banner of some noble warrior on the battlefield. In his mind she looked at him, her silvery eyes gleaming with delight and she smiled, a radiant gesture seemed to burn through his soul like wildfire. _Kaori…_

A hesitant knock on the door snapped him out of his daydream. He shook his head in irritation and called from his seat. "Come in." Slowly the door slid open and Matsumoto poked her head in. The look on her face spoke that she fully expected to have her head bitten off for disturbing him. She spoke softly.

"Taichou..?"

Hitsugaya pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed inwardly. "Hai, Matsumoto?" Looking slightly relieved that he had not tried to blast her into next week with his Kidou, she drew the door open fully and stepped inside. Carefully sliding the door shut behind her she moved forward to his desk, pulling a chair along with her as she planted herself in front of him.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Taichou." She glanced at the paperwork. "I know that you're … busy, but…"

"But what, Matsumoto." Hitsugaya fought the annoyance that was rapidly rising within him.

Sensing the rise in his demeanor, Matsumoto's brow furrowed in determination. She stood rapidly, planting her hands on the desk in front of her, leaning over and nearly yelling in his face. "Would you stop it already? You've been walking around looking like a man on the verge of turning Hollow all day! You're driving everyone crazy with your brooding and you need to just go ahead and admit it!"

Hitsugaya's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he sat, bolt straight in his chair, completely taken aback by her sudden outburst. He had not realized that his mood had been so apparent. Normally others complained that he was difficult to read, he had just assumed that he had been as elusive as ever. And just what did she mean by "admit it"?

Crossing his arms across his chest he glared back at her defiantly. "Admit what?"

Matsumoto straightened with a slight laugh. "You can't mean…" Her laughter died in her throat as she regarded him once more. She bent back over the desk, her eyes studying his face intently, surprise registering in her own expression as she realized. "You don't even know… do you?"

Again, Hitsugaya felt his annoyance level rise. "Know what? Matsumoto… what are you going on about?" He stared up at her, clearly both puzzled and annoyed by the conversation.

Sitting back down before him she laying her hands calmly on the desk. "Do you even know why you've been in such a bad mood today?" She asked quietly.

This was ridiculous. "Oh course I know why I'm in a bad mood today. I…" He stopped short, his mental discipline the only thing that kept the rest of that sentence from flying from his lips. Shock registered on his face at what he had almost said. Staring across the desk at his Fukutaichou he saw a triumphant smile spread across her lips.

"You miss her." Matsumoto stated matter of factly, amusement apparent in her voice.

Desperately trying to recover his dignity, Hitsugaya picked up a stack of papers and tapped them on the desk, shifting the edges back into alignment. Refusing to meet her eyes he spoke again. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Like hell!" Matsumoto refuted. "You miss Nagayama Kaori. I look at the calendar too, Taichou. I know that today is the anniversary of her first year here with us in Squad Ten, and… she's in the Living World now. You can't even talk to her because of her orders."

Hitsugaya's jaw tightened then. _Damn her for bringing that up. Talk about salt in the wound. _"Orders are orders." He stated firmly, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Ah HA!" Matsumoto crowed victoriously. "It does bother you that you can't get in contact with her. You **do **miss her! There's no denying it now." The broad grin of victory fairly glowed off her face. She leaned forward then, a conspiratorial look on her face as she whispered… "Do you love her?"

Closing his eyes tightly, hands twitching on the stack of paper in his hands Hitsugaya growled in warning.

"Matsumoto….!"

Sensing that she had **definitely **outstayed her welcome, Matsumoto bolted for the door, her grin never faltering for a moment. As the door snapped shut behind her Hitsugaya tossed the papers back down on his desk and glared at the door. He desperately needed to get a lock for that thing.

But Matsumoto's words haunted him. "_Do you love her?" _Her words seemed to chase themselves around and around within his mind as he pondered them. He could not possibly… could he? Embarrassment coursed through him, how inappropriate, orders were orders, rules were rules, would the Seireitei ever allow such a thing? A Taichou and a member of his own Squad? He cringed at the thought. How could he have let something like this happen? He was ice. Wasn't he? Doubt and confusion warred within his mind until suddenly, the image of Kaori battling stole its way into his thoughts once more. A sense of deepest peace accompanied that vision as she danced gracefully through his mind. Each slash of her blade seemed to cut away a doubt, every stab piercing through his confusion to clear the way to the heart of the matter.

"_Hai…" _He admitted in secret. "_Maybe I do…. love her…" _Even within the depths of his private thoughts, that simple admission seemed to wash away all the stress and annoyance that had been plaguing his every waking moment. For the first time in over two months, Hitsugaya Toushiro smiled.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note - Now comes the fun part…

**Chapter Twelve - No Backing Down**

Nagayama Kaori perched upon the same rooftop she had been observing the town from for days. The only part of her that moved was her hand, fingernails drumming away at the slate roof as she mentally counted down the moments till she would be returning to Soul Society. Thus far her mission had been downright boring. She had gained very little information on the Hollow threat in this area, much to her disappointment. Not that she had any basis for comparison but, Hollow activity here seemed.. normal. _They won't be very impressed with my report…_ She mused glumly, not that she really cared at this point. So far, all the past three months had served to do was test her patience thoroughly.

_Two more days. _She reminded herself yet again. _Just two more days and I can go home. Back to my Squad, back to Hitsugaya-Taichou. _The very thought filled her veins with a nervous and ecstatic energy, and she felt as though an entire swarm of Hell Butterflies had taken up residence in her stomach. Covering her stomach with her hand she took a deep breath; sometimes she did not know if she wanted to grin like an idiot, or throw up when she felt this way.

_Relax. _Toshi chuckled to her from his sheath at her side. _What are you so nervous for anyway?_

Glancing down at her Zanpakuto, Kaori snorted in disbelief. "That's a silly question don't you think?"

Toshi pulsed in amusement. _You still think that he won't feel the same way? _Her Zanpakuto questioned.

Kaori rolled her eyes, she had gone through dozens of similar conversations with her bantering blade over the past couple of months. Toshi knew what she thought, he just delighted in making her talk about it. _I think you just like to see me squirm. _She thought to herself.

_I heard that. _Toshi quipped. _Now what… _The blade's voice went silent suddenly and in that moment every hair on Kaori stood on end as a vile, pulsing Reiatsu suddenly washed over her.

_What the hell…? _She thought as she sprang to her feet, eyes wide, shocked at the swift appearance and terrifying strength of this new Reiatsu. Something this strong, she should have felt coming from miles away… _How did I miss this?? _Drawing Toshi in one swift movement she scanned the area, her silver eyes intently searching for anything out of place. In her grasp her Zanpakuto shuddered slightly, a fine vibration shivering down its length. _I didn't feel it till just now either. _Toshi told her reassuringly. _You weren't being lax._

_That's good to know. _Kaori replied. _But that still doesn't answer the question. What is this Reiatsu?_

As if in answer to her unspoken question, the sky above her seemed to tear apart, revealing a hole darker than the night that surrounded her, and deep within it's depths… a mask. Kaori's silvered eyes snapped wide as terror seemed to turn her blood to ice. _Is that….? _

_MENOS GRANDE!!! _Toshi cried out suddenly, his voice penetrating through her mind and soul. _Run Kaori!! _

Rooted to the spot in fear Kaori did not move, despite the desperate pleading of her Zanpakuto she found herself unable to flee. The overwhelming Reiatsu nearly rendering her unconscious as she swayed dangerously, almost teetering from the rooftop, until suddenly a sound pierced her haze of terror.

It was a scream, a scream that seemed to mirror her own insane fear. The Reiatsu seemed to direct itself away from her, and in that moment she was able to regain her senses. Her eyes darting about, trying to identify the source of the sound that had drawn the Menos' attention.

_There! _Toshi exclaimed, mental directing her gaze downward. A young boy ran desperately through the alley way beneath her, his face a frozen mask of horror as he tried vainly to flee the huge Hollow that now pursued him. _That boy is dead… _Her Zanpakuto spoke softly, regret stealing into his tone.

Kaori could not believe this was happening. She knew she was strong, but at her current level it was suicide to go up against a Menos. _But that boy… _Her heart ached at the look of absolute fear that colored his youthful features. Anger gripped her suddenly, a fierce determination that furrowed her brow into a look of complete focus. "No!" She growled through clenched teeth. "I won't just leave him to die."

Within her grasp she could feel Toshi hesitate for only a moment, before he stilled in her hands. _Very well Kaori, I'm with you, no matter what the outcome._

Nodding resolutely Kaori let a slight smirk touch her lips. "Good. Let's go then." Lifting a hand from the hilt of her blade she began to chant softly, calling out the words that would enable her to focus her Kidou spells to their highest potential. As the chant completely she thrust out her hand toward the Menos, blue flames roaring out to engulf the huge Hollow. For a moment she dared to hope, yet as the flames dissipated she could see… all she had done, was distract it. Turning its massive head toward her the Hollow let out a wail, a hideous roaring sound that shook her all the way to her soul as once again that fearsome Reiatsu enveloped her. "Chikushou!" She swore as she struggled not to black out beneath the weight of its Reiatsu. _At least it's not after the boy anymore. _She managed to think as she fought for consciousness.

Again the Menos uttered its dreadful wail, it's massive mouth agape as deep within a blinding red light began to gather, swiftly growing in intensity.

Desperately Toshi tugged at Kaori, yelling out warnings over and over in her mind. _Run Kaori run!! It's going to use it's Cero on you!!! Run!! _Barely able to comprehend the urgency of Toshi's cries, Kaori did the only thing she could think to do. Her shaking arms raised her Zanpakuto up in front of her, holding it's mirrored surface out toward the Menos.

"Kikan, Toshi!!" She cried as the Menos released it's fully charge Cero down upon her. The Reiatsu bore down on her until the only thing she could see was blinding red and then… _Toushiro… _Her last thoughts were those of her Taichou as her world was engulfed in darkness.

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Japanese Translations

Chikushou - Damn

Kikan - Mirror/Reflect


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note - Sorry it took me a bit to do another chapter on this fic, life has been hectic. Hope to finish this story up soon!! Enjoy! Please R&R!!!

**Chapter 13 - Far Too Late**

Hitsugaya Toushiro turned on his heel for probably the hundredth time, pacing back in the opposite direction before the massive gate that led to the Living World. _She is late. _He thought to himself, a strange sense of apprehension and annoyance rising up within him. _This is not like Kaori. _In his mind a million different scenarios seemed to race through his thoughts, each one darker and more hopeless than the last as he contemplated what might possibly be keeping her. As he reached the far side of the gate he spun again, sharper this time, his agitation evident in his movements.

From nearby Matsumoto Rangiku watched her Taichou pacing in a mixture of interest and concern. She shared the belief that this was indeed highly unusual for Fifth Seat Nagayama Kaori, but more than that she harbored a deep concern for Hitsugaya Toushiro. Matsumoto thought and thought hard, yet still could not think of any time prior to this that she had ever seen him so unnerved. It was disturbing, to say the least. Forcing a broad smile to her face she stood, her hands moving to her hips as she called out as cheerfully as possible. "That Kaori, she is probably having the time of her life in the Living World! The shopping there is incredible! I can't blame her for be…" She was cut off abruptly as Hitsugaya Toushiro shot a scathingly icy glare in her direction. "Er… Nevermind.." She mumbled as she sat back down, casting her gaze to the side as she pondered what, if anything, she might be able to do to allay his fears.

In front of the gate, Hitsugaya finally stopped his uneasy pacing, his gaze fell away from Matsumoto and drifted guiltily to the ground. "Gomenasai, Matsumoto." He said quietly, his voice unusually soft in the cool morning air. _Where is she?! _He thought frantically, his teeth grinding together painfully. A low growl escaped his throat as he turned on his heel once more, this time heading straight for the gate.

Glancing up in surprise at the sight of him heading directly for the gate, Matsumoto sprang to her feet. "T-Taichou?!" She started to move after him but his voice stopped her.

"No, Matsumoto. Stay here. I will take responsibility for this. Don't get involved." His voice was soft, but held an icy layer of determination. He cast one last look at her, his turquoise eyes gleaming, before stepping through the gate.

As he vanished from her sight, Matsumoto chewed her lip nervously. There would be hell to pay for this…


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note - Wooo Hooo on a role again! Enjoy!! R&R Please!! Thanks so far for all the great feedback!

**Chapter 14 - In Time**

As Hitsugaya Toushiro emerged from the tunnel that ran between the Living World and Soul Society he was instantly on alert. The area was permeated with an intense Reiatsu. Every nerve was instantly on edge as he recognized the familiar taint of a Menos Grande. Gripping the hilt of his Zanpakuto he opened his senses to the world, taking in every little fluctuation of spirit energy and analyzing it carefully. After a moment he relaxed, but only slightly. He realized he was only feeling the aftermath of a Menos' Reiatsu, the creature had either been destroyed, or had moved on. At this realization apprehension crept back into his mind. _Destroyed… or… moved on…_ His brow furrowed deeply in worry then. If the Menos had simply moved on, then anything or anyone that had dared to oppose it would surely be… _Kaori! _Hitsugaya closed his eyes and concentrated, hard, searching for any shred of Kaori's Rieatsu. The air was so cold here, other than the residual spiritual energy from the Menos, he was not feeling anything. It was as though the entire area was… _Dead. No! She can't be dead! She can't!! _Hitsugaya's eyes flew open, his blood suddenly blazing with an icy rage.

"Kaori!!!" He shouted out as he shunpoed from rooftop to rooftop, frantically scouring the city. Maybe he just was not close enough to her, maybe she was in pursuit of the Menos, maybe… His feet moved faster and faster, each Flash Step swifter and stronger than the last as he searched. He let his Reiatsu leak out in waves, hoping, praying that somehow she might feel him and come to find him. _Kaori, Kaori, Kaori…. _He repeated her name over and over in his mind, like some chant that might somehow deny what he feared to be true.

………_Toushiro………_ The sudden flare of Reiatsu stopped him dead in his tracks. It was her!! He changed course, speeding toward that tiny burst of spirit energy he had just felt. She was alive, she had to be, he had felt her! He knew it, she would be fine. _She has to be fine! I can't… I can't lose her now! _He cursed inwardly, utterly ashamed at the emotional weakness he was showing in this situation. But no matter how hard he tried to close these emotions off, to keep his icy heart from melting, he knew, without a doubt that he was fighting a losing battle.

He slid around a corner, his white Taichou robes flying out behind him as he stopped suddenly. The sight before him made his impossibly turquoise eyes snap open wide, horrified at what he saw. "Kaori!!!" He sprang forward, at her side with impossible speed. Hitsugaya reached out, wanting to snatch her limp body up and hold her to his chest, but his hands stopped short, he did not dare touch her, the state she was in, he feared he might kill her. Her body was mostly in one piece, though all of her limbs were tore and broken, blood and burnt flesh coloring the alleyway in which he had found her. Small silver shards decorated her body like some kind of macabre snow. Narrowing his eyes he reached down and touched a finger tip to one of the shards, it was sharp and pierced his skin. Hissing out slightly in pain he lifted the finger to inspect the shard.

For the second time this night, his eyes sprang open in shock. It was a shard, of Kaori's Zanpakuto! Looking back down he could see the shattered hilt of her blade, still held in here near death grip, the blade itself was gone, shattered into millions of tiny prismatic shards, but the hilt remained. Perhaps if she was able to recover, her Zanpakuto might as well. Though that was the least of his worries in this moment.

Reaching down gingerly he felt at her neck for a pulse. Much to his relief, it was there, far too faint for his liking, but at least she was indeed, still alive. Breathing a slight sigh of relief, he made a decision. She may be alive, but she would not stay that way if he remained here. As much as he hated it, he would have to move her. Leaning over her he gently moved some of her raven black hair away from her bloodied face as he whispered to her.

"I'm here Kaori. I'll take you back, to Soul Society."

She shifted then, or tried to, a slight whimper floating from her lips as pain lanced through her. Impossibly her battered and bruised eyes fluttered open. "T-Toushiro…?" Her voice was cracked and barely audible, but the fact that she used his first name did not even seem to faze him, as a matter of fact, all that occurred to him, was that it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. Her silver eyes gazed up at him, full of relief and joy.

"Ssssh." He soothed her gently. "Don't try to speak Kaori. Just lie still." Ever so gently he gathered her into his arms, wincing as her eyes clenched shut in agony, slight cries of pain caught up in her throat. "Stay with me Kaori." He pleaded with her as he began to Flash Step away from the hideous scene and back toward the gate. His mind was a desperate whirl of thoughts as he moved, though one thought worked its way to the front of his mind. _Please let me make it in time!_


End file.
